They call me Martha...

So there you are, trolling the blogosphere checking out the parties thrown by other bloggers and getting ideas for your own events.  And in your trolling, you come across many, many posts about children's birthday parties that would put Martha Stewart to shame.  Coordinated themes, hand-crafted decorations, gourmet goodies.  There will invariably be candid (but professional quality) photos of the guests looking like they're in an Old Navy commercial (the quirky fun ones, not the mannequin ones), and the hostess will be looking stylish and relaxed.  By the time you finish the post you're feeling more than a little inadequate.  Sound familiar?  Then this is the post for you!

Sam turned 6 at the end of September. 
At the time of the party I had a 3-month-old baby and had been back to work for about 3 weeks.  I wanted something simple where someone else did the work for me.  A location birthday!  But after all of her choices didn't work out (#1 - closed for the season; #2 - out of business; #3 - closed for annual cleaning), we decided to do a home party.

[I briefly considered Chuck E. Cheese, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.  I've been to the new one, and it just felt wrong, like I was cheating on my childhood memories.  Where was the poor lighting?  The creepy, oversized robots serenading you as you eat your pizza?]

I would throw a simple but still awesome party.

Hand-crafted decorations?  Check. 

I blew up some balloons and let Sam and her friend put them wherever they wanted
about 20 minutes before the party started.  There are no pictures of the other decorations because there were no other decorations.

Coordinated theme?  Check.

Sam and her friends always want me to do their nails, so I thought we'd do a spa party. 
I painted their fingernails but decided we didn't have time for toes. 
[That, and I've smelled sweaty little girl feet.  I didn't need that.]

Then we broke out the tattoos and made it a white trash spa party. 

[Sam became so obsessed with tattoos after her party last year that I had to

make an "only at parties" rule.] 

One girl had to wear long sleeves to church the next day to cover up

the skull tattoo on her arm.  Parenting point to me!

High-class, super-fun games?  Check.

Sam and a friend decided the day before the party that they were going to make some games to play.  I intentionally didn't check up on what they were doing before the party because I didn't want to be a creativity killer.  I just sat back and let Sam and her friend explain the games and the rules when the time came. 
I think I deserve an award for keeping a straight face during this portion of the party.

Game 1: Throw the tissue darts with tape on the end...

...at the page ripped out of the Justice for Girls ad.

*Note: It's ingeniously held up by a Belle wall sticker because

I don't let her use tape on the walls. 

She does listen!

Game #2: Pin the tail on the hand-drawn koala.  

With the object being to get it on one of the ears.  Or the head. 
Or the circle with the "X" drawn on it.  Or wherever. 
As you can imagine, this made it difficult to name a winner. 
Not that it mattered, since I didn't bother getting prizes for the game winners.

  



Gourmet goodies?  Check.

Despite the great horned pig fiasco of 2010, I was still willing to try my hand at some sort of fancy cake.  So I asked Sam what kind of cake and ice cream she wanted. 

Answer?  "Fat boys and popsicles."  She's the birthday girl.

The girls had a good time, and that's all that matters. 

It was fun to see what stuff Sam came up with, and it really was "her" party.

So there you have it.  Don't you feel better now?  You're welcome.

But if you're feeling masochistic,

check out my nephew's party thrown by my awesome sister-in-law.

You can always re-read this post when you're done to make yourself feel better.